What I've Come To Realize ♥

I'm not a morning person.

I'm not a day person.

I'm not a night person.

I'm beginning to think that I'm...

{not a person at all.}

♥

-akilah...the dark hearted one

"All BLACK Everything"

HEY MY PRETTY BITCHESSSS!!! :D

I'm bizzack on my blog game and I know you all are glad...cuz i missed y'all like i know y'all missed me! (LOL) There has been soooo much that has gone on in my life since my last post, and I felt like it was time to let it all out! As you all can see, I've got a new blog look going on up in here...i call it the "ALL BLACK EVERYTHING" look...(kudos to Jay-Z!) not only do I think the whole "black" concept is dope, it happens to be one of my favorite colors and it is also representative about the current emotional state that I'm in. (hahaaa, i know that sounded really depressing)...but nah, it's not even like that.

See, I just went through some SERIOUS heartbreak...so I have decided to take a break from "Love" for awhile...i have a dark heart...a black heart...for now, anyway. I am in the process of re-focusing my love from a man...to my dreams.

I will go more into this whole heartbreak situation in my next blog...I just wanted to everyone to know that I'm BACK...and BLACK! :D

Fabulously,

Akilah...the dark hearted one. ♥

" If you can't RESPECT that, your whole perspective is wack, maybe you'll LOVE me when i fade to BLACK..."

-Jay-Z

The Secret Agenda of Trees...

♥ ♥ ♥

I went to see a play the other night with Amen for my invite to theatre class called “the secret agenda of trees”, and to be honest…when I first heard the name I definitely laughed and pre judged it. I ignorantly assumed that it would be some experimental theatre…aka “white people shit” that goes completely over my head. But to my surprise and delight, this play was nothing like that. It was in my FAVORITE theatre genre, contemporary American realism (woot!) and it was effing amazing!!!

There was this one particular quote that stood out to me in the play, and I guess this is how they got the name…but the little girl says this in one of her monologues: 

“What is the secret agenda of trees….why do they claw so desperately towards the sky?”

I don't know man...that quote just hit me for some reason...i really had to think about that shit...and it really is a good question. Why are trees constantly growing???...ascending towards the heavens...away from it all..away from us all.

Maybe we as humans should be like trees. focused on upward mobility. focused on SELF GROWTH and PERSERVERANCE. Maybe the reason why GOD created trees was to show humans how we are supposed to live...maybe GOD was trying to tell us that we should live our lives CONSTANTLY trying to move towards him...constantly trying to reach the heavens...

"The things that really matter are NOT of this WORLD or of this EARTH

Let's look to the SKIES to find our WORTH"

truthfully,

                   Akilah ♥

P.S. ( Be like TREES!!! c:)

My SUPER BOO ♥

LOOK at HIM...he can be my SUPER BOO...INTELLECTUAL, SEXY...his style is SICK, his face is DOPE! c:

I must say...I am really feeling this guy right now, and I have a feeling that he is about to become a bona fide SUPERSTAR...he is really like a YOUNGER, SEXIER, and HUMBLER version of Kanye...in other words, the man is PERFECT!!!! But I am like blasting him non stop...got both of his mixtapes "A Kid Named Cudi" and 'The Best of Kid Cudi", definitely ADDICTED to this cat right now...can't wait for his album to drop, though...yo. Also, if you want to get a taste of his flawlessness come out to BBKings on 42nd St. this EASTER SUNDAY (lol i know) to see him live in concert!!! whoop whoop! (B.A.M. will DEF be up in that piece!!! )

Checkout my super boo's blog: http://www.kidcudi.com/news c:

My Future BABY DADDY ♥

For some reason...I always FALL in LOVE with guys from OHIO...

the both times that I have been in love  in my life has been with dudes from OH

lucky for me...Kid Cudi hails from the city of CLEVELAND!

YESSSSSSSS! ♥ ;-)

I would LICK that mohawk...LOL!!

I LOVE HIS STYLE.

" I NEVER gave a FUCK...I never gave a fuck about what NIGGAS THOUGHT about ME...I mean I DID...but like FUCK IT, know what I'm saying...you gone LOVE me, man...YOU GONE LOVE ME!"

-Kid Cudi, "Man On The Moon"

That's exactly how we are SUPPOSED to feel.

-Akilah ♥

To the KING... ♥

T.I.P. is going away for a while...a year and a day to be exact...and it really saddens me to hear this because not only do i LOVE him, but he is truly an example of a life turned around for the better. I respect and admire T.I. not only for his amazing artistry...but as a man...I only wish him the best as he turns himself in to the 'belly of the beast'.

We will miss you, TIP ♥

Now that is one SEXY man....LOL :-)

Anyways...I just want to leave y'all with some of his most inspirational lyrics...

"MISTAKES  made on this road to WEALTH, and I still ain't forgave myself

Ay, What I am today I made MYSELF, and I still ain't forgave myself"

-TIP "Still ain't forgave myself", I'm Serious

fabulously,

                      Akilah :-)

Steal MY Show?!?!...OH HELL NO BISH!!!!

Hmm...let's think of a scenario:

Lets say that i was the LEADING LADY in a fabulous modern day LOVE story on 

BROADWAY... ♥

So as the leading lady it is my job to keep my audience captivated throughout the show's ENTIRETY...but...what if some other chick in the cast comes along in one of the scenes and starts trying to UPSTAGE me...she is shucking and jiving and the audience is just eating that shit up!!! laughing, smiling, and applauding away!!! what do i do??? do i just give up? Do i just walk off the stage and let her have all MY GLORY, MY FAME, MY APPLAUSE??....do i let this bitch who ISN'T the leading lady steal MY show?? the one that i worked hard to get??? or do i stay on stage and shuck and jive and dance and sing LOUDER, HARDER and BETTER than her, until the audience is once again mesmerized by my performance and throwing roses at my feet?

hmmm...I guess the answer is easy when i put it that way...but what if this scenario is NOT about a broadway play at all...what if it is about LOVE...or a RELATIONSHIP???

What do I do if someone has come along and stole what i THOUGHT was rightfully mine? I mean i like the guy...he's not perfect...but i think it could work possibly...but he is paying this other chick some attention now...should i just let it go and move on...or should i fight for it, take back what was mine???

I dunno...something inside of me is saying "just let it go, if it is for you, then it shall be yours..." but on the other hand something inside of me...maybe it's my pride, is telling me to "fuck that bish, she can't steal YO show!!!!"

oh, love ♥

On "Miss Evers' Boys" and Freedom...

I was so blessed to be able to see an AMAZING performance tonight...

it was a play entitled "Miss Evers' Boys" directed by renowned BLACK broadway director, Kenny Leon and starring the lovely, multi-talented Ms. Jasmine Guy!!!

She did effing AMAZING!!! she is DEF one of my idols in theatre...and YES she is from ATLANTA, GEORGIA...so i have EXTRA love for her!!! She is also a TRIPLE THREAT as she can sing, dance (she was AILEY trained!!!) and obviously act. the BITCH is BAD. Im a FAN.

The play was set back in the 1930's-40's when the U.S. government was holding an experiment on four men in Tuskegee, Alabama where they observed the effects that Syphillis had on them...but tricked them and told them that they were being treated. So basically the government sat back and watched these poor, ignorant men die and go crazy from Syphillis while they were watching and taking notes....this is a true story. It hurts me so much to know that they did this...but hey, it's AmeriKKKa... 

But yeah, this play really resonated with me and really got me thinking about my life and my people and what I owe to them and what I owe to myself...Alot of this play dealt with the battle Miss Ever's had to go through by staying true to her work (nursing), and staying true to her people...and the four men from Tuskegee unknowingly sacrificed themselves for their people by participating in the experiment.

hmmm...could i sacrifice MY LIFE, for MY PEOPLE???

would i myself DIE...so that thousands of others could LIVE???

would i be dedicated to my work sooo much that I could deceive people i love so that the wider world could be spared???

I may never know.

but there was an amazing quote from one of the characters in this play...Willie Johnson...after the Syphillis had taken over his body and left him crippled in one leg, his dreams of becoming a dancer in the cotton club in Harlem were shattered...this is all that he had to say:

"MY BODY, WAS MY FREEDOM..."

For Willie, dancing was the only thing in the world that he could do without restraint, in full capacity of himself...his soul was freed through the meticulous motions of his body's own divine creation...and it was taken from him. We must all learn from Willie.

WE must find whatever it is that FREES us and hold onto it for DEAR life.

I found mine...and my grip is getting tighter everyday.

fabulously,

                     Akilah ♥